Mark Tales of Parenting, Tales of Fatherhood 4 Comments

Confessions of a House Husband

Not those kind of confessions, get your mind out of the gutter.

If you were expecting this to begin with a rugged plumber knocking at the door I can only apologise. The most excitement you’d get from me in that scenario is if he didn’t condemn our boiler for another year. And if I’m naked it’s only because the kids let him in without telling me. Again.

Seriously, were you really expecting some kind of 70’s style smutty soft porn? Really? I mean, I can give you 70’s style smutty soft porn if that’s what you want…

confessions-of-a-house-husband

Happy now? No, didn’t think so.

The confessions I’m talking about involve domesticated deceit. They’re a glimpse into the dark arts of house-husbandry. Secrets that could easily see me shunned in the playground or worse still, ostracised from the SSSP (Secret Society of the Stay-at-home Parent).… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Parenting, Tales of Fatherhood, Rants, Short Stories & Poetry 1 Comment

Through the Eyes of Another

The street lights flickered as if unsure what was expected of them. I found a bench beneath the most assertive and sat down.

A van approached, fast at first but significantly slower the closer it got. As it crawled past its engine called out to me, revving as if bereft of gears. Looking up from my phone I noticed the man in the passenger seat had locked eyes on me. They remained locked long after it’d driven past. Uncomfortably so.

The van then stopped a little further up the road, performed a three-point turn and was now coming back, even slower than before. Now I was nervous. This time both passengers stared, the man furthest away visibly stretching beyond the driver to get a good look.… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Parenting, Tales of Fatherhood, Family Tales, Activities 2 Comments

Young Dads Collective

As a ‘dad blogger’ you know Fathers Day is approaching when your inbox suddenly becomes swamped by Fathers Day gift guides. The cynical blogger in me reads them as a list of ‘things I was sent for free’, although to be fair, I’m just bitter that the best thing I was offered this year was a ‘Best Dad in the World’ tankard?! One email did suggest a £500 watch but sadly it was just that, a suggestion.

But it does raise serious questions, and not just ‘what child is buying their dad a £500 watch, and more importantly, how do I get myself one of these kids?’

Because when I think back to when I first became a stay-at-home dad, what I really wanted wasn’t a Top Gear toiletry set.… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Parenting, Tales of Fatherhood, Growing Old 4 Comments

Embarrassing Dad

I’d always assumed the path to embarrassing dad status would be a gradual one. A prolonged period of otherwise insignificant events, condensed into a single anecdote. A retrospective title earned through hindsight on my part and much exaggeration on theirs.

Talking a little too loudly about someone on the very next table, maybe. A drunken dance at a wedding, quite possibly. One too many Ferris Bueller quotes, Anyone? … Anyone? … Anyone?

I’d also assumed it would be on my own terms and for my own amusement. For what it’s worth, I had it penciled in for 2023 so as to coincide with their early teenage years, thus allowing for maximum awkwardness and hilarity.

Failing that, if it was to be a single event it would be a spectacular one.… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Parenting, Tales of Fatherhood, Rants 12 Comments

Feminist dad

When I first became a stay-at-home dad I always intended to write a retrospective post about my experiences. Of how I entered a traditionally mothers environment as the ‘minority dad’ and came out the other side.

In my head I already knew what I was going to write. How facilities aren’t geared towards dads. How we’re treated with suspicion. Of negative attitudes and having our masculinity mocked.

It was for these reasons I spent the first few weeks at home. We’d occasionally go to the library, get our books and on the way out pass the baby and toddler group with a ‘maybe next week’ cowardice.

But as any stay-at-home parent will tell you, the true enemy is isolation. It’s the lack of adult interaction.… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Parenting, Tales of Fatherhood 28 Comments

Stay At Home Dad Tips

I’m on notice. In September Sonny starts school, Luca Nursery, and I’ll be a year closer to my early retirement; or actively looking for work if Janet asks.

Obviously we’ll need to discuss my retirement plans, just not before my six month Saga cruise has left port.

But it got me thinking about what I’ve learnt from my 18 months as a stay at home dad, and what tips I’d give another dad thinking about a career change. Turns out not a lot, but here are a few random thoughts;-

THE PARK

Where most stay at home parents can be found searching for their sanity after spending too long in the house.

TIP …

Learn the rules of the roundabout. You never want to be the nearest adult to the roundabout.… Read the full post