Mark Tales of Parenting 8 Comments

Running

I’ve started running. I’d like to say it’s part of a wider health kick or due to a sudden epiphany about my own mortality, but I’d be lying.

Truth is, a couple of weeks ago I lost a race with Luca. Not a proper race, mind. There was no starting gun, agreed finish line or post race drug test.

And if this sounds like I’m making excuses, I’ve barely even started.

He was wearing his PE kit. I was carrying two school bags and a coat. I gave him a head start and he set off running at ‘get set…’

But as anyone watching will tell you, I wasn’t catching him. If anything he was pulling away. And if I’d dropped the bags, which I did consider doing, it was still highly unlikely I would have won.… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Fatherhood, Tales of Parenting 4 Comments

Confessions of a House Husband

Not those kind of confessions, get your mind out of the gutter.

If you were expecting this to begin with a rugged plumber knocking at the door I can only apologise. The most excitement you’d get from me in that scenario is if he didn’t condemn our boiler for another year. And if I’m naked it’s only because the kids let him in without telling me. Again.

Seriously, were you really expecting some kind of 70’s style smutty soft porn? Really? I mean, I can give you 70’s style smutty soft porn if that’s what you want…

confessions-of-a-house-husband

Happy now? No, didn’t think so.

The confessions I’m talking about involve domesticated deceit. They’re a glimpse into the dark arts of house-husbandry. Secrets that could easily see me shunned in the playground or worse still, ostracised from the SSSP (Secret Society of the Stay-at-home Parent).… Read the full post

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Not Another Back to School Post

Sorry, I lied, it absolutely is another back to school post. What can you do, I called it The Tales of Sonny and Luca. You make your bed, you lie in it.

Sonny started Juniors today, but he’ll not forget his time in infants, not least because those memories are still etched across his tie in gravy.

Luca started Year Two with Sonny’s old teacher. A blessing if judged on his handwriting, less so if judged on his homework.

And whilst Janet was amazed at how much they’d grown over the summer holidays, as the stay-at-home parent responsible for their uniforms I thought it wise not to mention their trousers were fast approaching three-quarter length long before the end of last term.… Read the full post

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Dyson Challenge

dyson-challengeAsk Sonny what job he’d like to have when he’s older and he’ll tell you he wants to be a farmer.

I’ve no idea why, he’s as scared of vegetables and he is animals. Throw in a fascination with zombies and I’m worried his idea of a harvest may involve organs?!

Luca wants to be a stay-at-home dad. Part of me is proud that he sees such merit in my current role, although part of me also worries that he just sees it as an opportunity to watch the entire box-set of Breaking Bad when they take a nap. Not that I did that, obviously, what with being so busy doing … err … stuff?

So when we were invited to an event hosted by Dyson and Currys at Manchester Science and Industry Museum, it seemed the perfect opportunity to broaden their horizons.… Read the full post

Mark Days Out, Family Tales, Reviews 2 Comments

Altomincio Family Park with Canvas Holidays

altomincio-poolOur trip with Canvas Holidays to Altomincio Family Park near Lake Garda was to be a holiday of firsts. First time on a plane; first time abroad; our first proper holiday as a family.

As we sat in the airport, and in an attempt to avoid Luca’s question about how planes stay in the air (magic?), I asked the boys what they were most looking forward to.

Sonny: “To finally try some proper pasta dishes!”

Harsh. As their stay-at-home dad who’s been cooking pasta twice a week for the past five years I could have been offended.

Luca: “Trying out the Spanish I learnt at school!”

Proof, were it needed, that his passion for languages may be to the detriment of his geography.… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Parenting 10 Comments

Pop-Tart Dad

You know the whole ‘I’d always put my kids first’ malarkey.

You often hear it said on the Jeremy Kyle show, just before it’s revealed they went on a six day bender to Benidorm leaving their kids home alone with some Pop-Tarts and a Fruit Shoot.

Or a blurry meme on Facebook that looks like a greetings card bought in Woolworths circa 1978 and overshared to within an inch of its life.

But whilst you’ll not see me announcing it on daytime TV or social media, I’d like to think I do at least share the sentiment.

That I’d always put my kids welfare before my own.

Were they to step out into a busy main road without looking for example, I like to think I’d be the one who saved them, scooping them up with both arms whilst somersaulting to safety, then lifting them above my head as a trophy of my heroism while a school choir, that just so happened to be passing, sang Westlife’s ‘You Raise Me Up’ from across the street.… Read the full post