Mark Nintendo, Reviews 1 Comment

Kirby: Planet Robobot

kirby-planet-robobot-box-coverI don’t often play the 3DS. To be honest, I spend more time hiding it. I could be the responsible parent who tells his children they’re not starting a new game two minutes before we’re supposed to be leaving for school, but I much prefer the ‘accidentally leaving it under some towels on the top shelf in the bathroom’ approach.

There’s nothing more infuriating than sending them off to get dressed only to find them ten minutes later naked but for the pants on their head, watching TV, with the 3DS is one hand and the other launching cushions at their brother.

I say nothing, Sonny’s liberal use of the word “whatevs” probably pushes it close, but that’s a rant I’ll save for another day.… Read the full post

Mark Activities, Family Tales, Tales of Fatherhood, Tales of Parenting 2 Comments

Young Dads Collective

As a ‘dad blogger’ you know Fathers Day is approaching when your inbox suddenly becomes swamped by Fathers Day gift guides. The cynical blogger in me reads them as a list of ‘things I was sent for free’, although to be fair, I’m just bitter that the best thing I was offered this year was a ‘Best Dad in the World’ tankard?! One email did suggest a £500 watch but sadly it was just that, a suggestion.

But it does raise serious questions, and not just ‘what child is buying their dad a £500 watch, and more importantly, how do I get myself one of these kids?’

Because when I think back to when I first became a stay-at-home dad, what I really wanted wasn’t a Top Gear toiletry set.… Read the full post

Mark Growing Old, Tales of Fatherhood, Tales of Parenting 4 Comments

Embarrassing Dad

I’d always assumed the path to embarrassing dad status would be a gradual one. A prolonged period of otherwise insignificant events, condensed into a single anecdote. A retrospective title earned through hindsight on my part and much exaggeration on theirs.

Talking a little too loudly about someone on the very next table, maybe. A drunken dance at a wedding, quite possibly. One too many Ferris Bueller quotes, Anyone? … Anyone? … Anyone?

I’d also assumed it would be on my own terms and for my own amusement. For what it’s worth, I had it penciled in for 2023 so as to coincide with their early teenage years, thus allowing for maximum awkwardness and hilarity.

Failing that, if it was to be a single event it would be a spectacular one.… Read the full post

Mark Tales of Parenting 3 Comments

Sanctuary of the Shower

I don’t want to sound overly dramatic, but you know that image of a polar bear clinging to an iceberg? That’s me in the shower that is. And if you’re thinking hippo in a bathtub, shame on you!

It all began when the kids first scaled Mount Stair-gate. Until then, upstairs was a savannah of sanity. A place of respite from all those that sought to destroy my mental well-being. An oasis of order in an otherwise disorderly house.

But what followed must surely go down in history as the biggest land grab of the twenty first century. Huge swathes of previously unspoilt rooms were destroyed. Where once there was tranquillity, chaos reigned. My natural habitat, disappearing faster than you can say ‘didn’t this Tesco used to be a rainforest?’

I found myself being backed into a corner, or more accurately a cubicle, and it wasn’t long before the sanctuary of the shower was all that remained.… Read the full post

Mark Nintendo, Reviews 1 Comment

Yo-Kai Watch Review

Yo-Kai Watch ArtworkI think I once ate at a restaurant called Yo-kai. It was memorable for paying ten times the price for raw fish as my local chippy would have charged me to batter and fry it, but my sushi rant is probably better served in a different post.

Yo-Kai Watch, however, is a new Nintendo 3DS role-playing game that has already taken Japan by storm. For those of you unfamiliar with Japanese mythology, Yokai are a class of supernatural spirits that take the form of humans, animals and inanimate objects. What, you think I learned this from Wikipedia as opposed to my already in-depth knowledge of Japanese folklore? Shame on you!

Nate and FumiYour story begins as a young boy or girl searching for bugs in the woods.… Read the full post

Mark Family Tales, Tales of Parenting 30 Comments

A Very Public Five Count

I’m not one for judging other peoples parenting skills. Well, how can I when as toddlers my boys could turn any public space into a thrash metal moshpit of despair at the drop of a hat … or glove … or raisin.

I’ll always remember one such occasion in a supermarket when a lovely old lady walked over, looked down at Sonny spreadeagled beneath the magazines, then back up at me and said,

“They can be little shits can’t they!”

Words I never would have imagined coming out of her mouth, less still,

“You know, most angelic toddlers turn into teenage pricks. Trust me, it’s so much better that they get their tantrums out of their system early.”

She then crouched over Sonny,

“Right young man, are you going to put that comic back and help your dad with the shopping, or shall we leave you here for the bogeyman?”

Whoa, back up a minute old lady.… Read the full post